Can the human nose sniff out danger? * Poet blasts colleges for using her poems incorrectly! * Tim Cook takes pay cut! * Snowplow takes pregnant woman to hospital! * Granny arrested 39 times! * Zombie apocalypse study! * Mullet man sues everybody! * And MORE in today’s DAILY DOSE OF WEIRD NEWS!
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79-year-old great-grandmother June Humphreys has been arrested for the 39th time in five years for shoplifting. She allegedly stole hundreds of dollars worth of products at several stores in Staffordshire and Cheshire, England - saying she did it because she was bored. Her probation officer, Darren Vernon, has told the courts in the past that Humphreys is lonely, lives by herself and was only in contact with one of her seven children. But so far she's stayed out of jail. For her 39th offense she was fined $150 and told to pay court costs. ***Can't somebody please show this woman how eHarmony.com works?
Good news - if there ever actually is a zombie apocalypse, a new study says it shouldn't last long! Bad news – it’s not going to end the way we’d like it to. It seems predictive models have determined ravenous zombie hordes would reduce Earth's population to no more than 200 survivors within 100 days. ***Great. So “The Walking Dead” is now proven to be unrealistic. You just can’t trust anybody to give us the truth anymore.
Coffee maker Keurig says it is building an at-home beer and booze maker. ***That ought to make the break room more popular.
In Austin, Texas, police responded to an incident at Barton Creek Mall where they arrested a man believed to be in his late teens or early 20s. Officers cuffed the suspect and placed him inside a patrol car and were headed to police headquarters. But during the 6-minute ride, the suspect expressed suicidal thoughts. When the arresting officer asked him if he was going to injure himself, the man replied, "yes." The suspect then managed to pull out a pistol from his waistband -- while still handcuffed -- and shot himself in the head. The incident, which was captured on video, will be investigated to determine if the arresting officer -- an 11-year veteran -- followed protocols. The suspect was hospitalized in critical condition. ***Pulled a gun from his own waistband??? You guys don't pat these suspects down any more? I'm going to make a bold prediction that he did NOT follow protocol.
Under Armor has launched a Tom Brady line of pajamas for $80 to $100. ***Actually, the PJs were originally $150, but the price has been deflated.
The Limited has announced they're closing all 250 of their stores. ***So now they’re reeeeeallly limited.
If anyone can answer questions on a standardized test about the poems "The Real Case" and "Midnight," it should be Sara Holbrook. After all she's the poet who wrote them. But when Holbrook took a stab at a couple of State of Texas Assessments of Academic Readiness exams, she didn't do so hot. She expressed particular frustration over test makers who decided to a) include "A Real Case," her "most neurotic poem," on a test designed for seventh-graders, and b) make the kids give a "line-by-line dissection, painful and delivered without anesthetic." Among the questions she couldn't answer were those about the poet's motivation for stanza breaks and for the capitalization of certain words. Holbrook implores parents, educators, and lawmakers to stop taking these test results so seriously saying, "Any test that questions the motivations of the author without asking the author is a big baloney sandwich."
According to a recent study, 77% of workers who have a Facebook account use it during work. ***The remaining 23% are obviously lying.
Due to disappointing sales, Apple's Tim Cook will take a 15% pay cut. ***Oh my gosh, how's he gonna LIVE?!?
The late Rock star Prince had 67 10-ounce gold bars in his possession and owned an estimated $25.4 million worth of real estate at the time of his death. ***So if you’ll excuse me, I need to wrap this up now and go find some connection to prove I’m related to Prince…
creepypasta anime Granny arrested 39 times! * Zombie apocalypse study! * Mullet man sues everybody! * & MORE! #DDWN | |
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